"ELAINE MY LOVE"
THESE ARE MY DAD'S POEMS OF HIS LOVE AND LOSS OF MY MOTHER. THEY ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND THIS FIRST ONE I CHOSE WILL BE WHAT A LOT OF YOU ALL ARE FEELING DURING THESE TIMES.
There You Were
Bright Sunday morning
Did no want to go to church,
If I did not show up
My Mom's feelings would be hurt.
Was in Old Natchez
End of road called Trace,
Top a wind swept bluff
Where the might Mississippi raced.
In the choir you were sitting
Sun shining on your hair,
Paid no attentiion to preacher
Did not know that he was there.
Service was finally over
Month of Sunday's it did seem,
Down the aisle you came closer
Was this the girl that I had dreamed.
Beauttiful olive complexion
From being put in the sun,
Cupid had me paralyzed
An arrow he had strung.
When I shook your hand
A thrill ran through my soul,
Such a pretty smile
You, I would love to hold.
Cupid had me sighted in
May have hit me with a hammer,
Don't remember what I said
All I could do is stammer.
Then one day you let me kiss you
Cupid shot me through and through,
I said, "will you marry me"
Was nothing else that I could do.
You said, "yes I will"
Over forty years ago,
Yep we did it
Have five grandkids you know.
Years so short
How the numbers climb,
Am sure you know
You are my Valentine.
Grandpa Ernie
February 14, 1990
HUG ME
HUG ME
HUG ME AGAIN,
A LIFETIME OF SORROW
WAS SOON TO BEGIN.
SITTING AT THE TABLE
LOOKING AT THE SPOT,
HUG HER AGAIN
I KNOW I WILL NOT.
I DON'T WANT TO NOT HURT
WHEN I THINK OF MY LOSS,
SHE IS HAPPY WITH JESUS
HOW HEAVY MY LOSS.
GRANDPA ERNIE
OCTOBER 28, 1995
Five Months
Five months
Minue eleven days,
My love Elaine
Lies in her grave.
I would say hug me
You would turn and comply,
Hug me again, again
You knew why.
The hugs would have to last
For the rest of my life,
God would soon take you
My love, my wife.
Five months later
Minus eleven days,
Still broken hearted
My mind in a daze.
How to stop grieving
Not the slightest clue,
There is no Elaine
To see me through.
Near forty eight years
I leaned on Elaine,
You would be there
When I called your name.
I wondered some time
Did I love you too much,
My happiness depended
On your gentle touch.
Arms around my neck
"Oh I love you," you said,
Would have been possible
Would have died in your stead.
Sorry for my self
You bet I am,
Miss you my love
As much as I can.
I am penning this now
From the Pacific North West,
Would love to come home
Is now just a nest.
Deep in the South
Dreams I will save,
Now an empty house
On a hill is your grave.
Grandpa Ernie
7/27/1995
LEFT BEHIND FOR NOW
THE CASE PROTECTING AN INSECT PUPA
IS MADE WITH SILK OF FAITH,
SEEMS TO BE A PLACE IN TIME
FOR A MIRACLE TO TAKE PLACE.
THE SPIRIT OF BEAUTY HAS CHANGED
QUALITY THAT PLEASES SENSE OF MIND,
HOW IT HAS FLOWN AWAY FOR NOW
IT'S MATE IS LEFT BEHIND.
METAMORPHOSIS WE ARE TOLD
IS A DRASTIC CHANGE OF FORM,
CATERPILLAR MATE LEFT BEHIND
IS BROKEN HEARTED AND ALONE.
ONE DAY WILL BE HIS TURN
TO EAT THE FRUIT OF THE TREE OF LIFE,
SPIN THE COCOON OF FAITH
AND FLY AWAY WITH HIS WIFE.
GRANDPA ERNIE
DECEMBER 7, 1995
PATH IN THE DARK
LOST
IN THE DARKEST OF DESPAIR,
TO LIVE, TO DIE,
I DID NOT CARE.
FRIENDS APPEARED
I HAD FORGOTTEN WERE THERE,
CASTING A LIGHT OF CHRISTIAN PRESENCE
ON THE PATH OF DEEP DESPAIR.
THERE WERE OTHERS ON THIS PATH
I WAS SOON TO FIND,
WALKING THE ROAD LONELY
THOSE LEFT BEHIND.
FROM THE DARKNESS
WAS MRS. "C",
HER TEAR STAINED FACE
LOOKED OUT TO ME.
SHE CARES
CHUCK DOES TOO,
SO MANY
I NEVER KNEW.
TEARS OF COMPASSION
FROM HEARTS OF LOVE,
ARE TAKEN BY ANGELS
TO HEAVEN ABOVE.
THEY WILL HELP MAKE THE CROWNS
OF CHRISTIANS SOME DAY,
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
WHILE HERE WE STAY.
CHRISTIANS
LET'S KEEP OUR LIGHTS ON,
TILL JESUS APPEARS
TO CARRY US HOME.
GRANDPA ERNIE
DECEMBER 30, 1995
JUST FOR TONIGHT
BACKWARD TURN BACKWARD
TIME IN YOUR FLIGHT,
LET ME DREAM ABOUT HER
YES, TONIGHT.
LET ME EMBRACE HER
MY HEAD ON HER BREAST,
BEING ALONE
MY WHAT A TEST.
WAS NOT FOR ME
BUT FOR HER SAKE,
FROM HER DISEASED BODY
YOU DID LOVINGLY TAKE.
IN THE CEMETERY
BESIDE YOUR GRAVE,
LEFT ALONE
I AM NOT VERY BRAVE.
NO ONE CALLS
NO NOT ANYMORE,
WITH TROUBLES OF THEIR OWN
THEY HAVE CLOSED THE DOOR.
GRANDPA ERNIE
JANUARY 20,1997
THIRTY THREE
BEAUTIFUL PLACE
SMILING FACE,
THE YOU HAS GONE
TO ANOTHER PLACE.
IN THE PICTURE
YOU WERE THIRTY THREE,
SOME ONE WAS THAT AGE
YOU NOW SEE.
HE PAID THE PRICE
FOR YOU AND ME,
ON A HILL
CALLED CALVARY.
GOLDEN SHORE
SOME ONE SAID,
ALIVE, ALIVE
YOU ARE NOT DEAD.
YOU'VE FOUND IN HIM
IN ME COULD NOT FIND,
OH, I LOVE YOU
FOR NOW LEFT BEHIND.
GRANDPA ERNIE
JANUARY 6, 1997
LIGHT OF MY LIFE
ELAINE, MY PRECIOUS WIFE
HAS GONE TO HEAVEN,
ON THE EARTH FOR ME NOW
I'LL BE
SHE WAS THE ONLY STAR
IN MY BLUE HEAVEN,
I KNOW SOME DAY
HER FACE I'LL SEE.
SHE WAS THE SHINING LIGHT
THAT BRIGHTENED UP MY NIGHT,
NOW I'M LEFT ALONE
AND LONELY.
ELAINE MY PRECIOUS WIFE
HAS GONE TO HEAVEN,
SOME DAY WITH HER AND JESUS
I'LL BE.
GRANDPA ERNIE.
Stop Crying
I'll never stop crying
My love was too great,
I am sure you will be waiting
At Heaven's gate.
The time grows shorter
Each day that I live,
There are still a few pages
Of life to perhaps fill.
The novels I've written
You were Elizabeth my love,
I know will be different
In Heaven above.
Brothers and sisters
A part of His bride,
I will be happy
Just to be by your side.
Grandpa Ernie
Forgiven But Lonesome
I have never been here before
Feel so all alone,
Happiness has taken wings
Joy of life is gone.
Having a pity party
You could call it that,
Jesus said, "He would never leave me"
I know that is a fact.
Writing my feelings
Could write a book,
Others are hurting
Can tell by their looks.
Read this
You'll be here some day,
Instead of a pity party
Kneel and pray.
How sin besets me
Not the new man but the old,
Nothing that you can see
Some things hurt my soul.
When I took Jesus
The old man has a mind,
Clutters up my prayer life
With things that are left behind.
Love of Jesus
Shines down from above,
Past, present, and future sins
All covered by His blood.
He keeps in perfect peace
Minds that are stayed on Him,
I know my thoughts are not
What they should have been.
Grandpa Ernie
October 18, 1996
Beautiful Hands
Her hands were beautiful
Their touch I miss,
Who was she?
My happiness.
Her hands
Opened the door to my heart,
Were they magic
After a sort?
Delicate hands
When first we met,
Lonely nights
I miss them yet.
Strong from hard work
When she was a kid,
Rub board and hand pump
Is what they did.
Hands that played
Strings of my heart,
Miss them so
While we are apart.
Hands
Slipped behind my head,
Kissed me gently
"Love you," she said.
Hands that bathed
Our babies three,
Love light
In her eyes I'd see.
Hands that delicately
Season food,
Painted pictures
When in the mood.
Hands that sewed
Beautiful garments,
Spanked our children
Little varmints.
Hands that cleaned
A messy house,
Take a broom
Chase a mouse.
Hands up lifted
At night in prayer,
Now are busy
In Heaven somewhere.
Grandpa Ernie
May 4, 1997
Little Sparrow
Ten months tonight you left me
Jesus took you to His throne,
Am in a different world my love
No longer have a home.
You mean the world to me
Sitting here by your grave,
Would be so easy
To scream, to rant, to rave.
You are just like Jesus now
Are you closer than I think?
In months I have aged years
In grieving I did sink.
A wonderful thing just happened
A sparrow lit on my car,
Jesus sees the sparrows
Can He be very far?
The little sparrow sitting there
Turned and looked at me,
The things of nature
They testify of Thee.
A white and yellow flower
Lay upon your grave,
I picked it up
In my Bible, this I'll save.
I placed it on the dash of my car
Looking later, it was gone,
There it is
It had rolled into the sun.
Grandpa Ernie
January 7, 1997
I'm Waiting
This broken heart
It will not mend,
Many nights
With it I've been.
Daylight
Finally comes,
After that
A warming sun.
A heavy heart
I carry still,
Like I'd climbed
Some high, high hill.
Show me Lord
What You want now,
As my head
To You, I bow.
Take My hand
Walk with Me,
Someday Your face
You'll let me see.
I'll finish this
Perhaps someday,
After Jesus
Has shown the way.
Grandpa Ernie
December 1997
Nearly three years since my love went to be with our Lord.
Lovely Flower Lady
Perfume of a flower
Frailty of life,
Place to rest
From a world of strife.
Beauty of creation
Placed by loving hands,
Delicate flowers
Outshine golden stands.
Dirt under fingernails
Work that it does take,
Know and appreciate
Is for the Master's sake.
Lovely flower lady
We thank you very much,
Happy you are ours
With that God given touch.
Grandpa Ernie
"Sweet peas, daises, petunias, pansies, clematis, marigolds, roses and Elaine's favorite werecarnations"
Sadness
I want to be strong for you
But am not strong for me,
The thousands of tears I have shed
I try and not let you see.
Be strong for the children
We will wait on Thee,
She is my heart and love
Don't take her away from me.
You have made all things
In the void of space,
Will wait and see
If you heal her by Your Grace.
Grandpa Ernie
Lost Her
I have not lost her
I know where she is at,
I was there when God took her
By her bed I sat.
There was no supernatural manifestation
None that I could see,
She gently squeezed my hand
That was all there would be.
I walked into the night
The darkest I have ever known,
I know where she is
Somewhere near His throne.
When I walked into the darkness
She walked into the light,
I walk alone for now
There will some day be no night.
Grandpa Ernie
October 11, 1995
Elaine My Elaine
Elaine, Elaine
I love you so,
Elaine my Elaine
Broke my heart to see you go.
Elaine my Elaine
My hopes and dreams are gone,
Elaine, Elaine
It has been so long.
Over the sea of memories
Dreams drift back to see,
Just once more to hold you
I know it can not be.
Death is more that a shadow
For us that are left behind,
It seperates completely
All except my mind.
Memories
Just a month has been,
Memories
This because of sin?
Memories
My loss is Heaven's gain,
Memories
Of my precious wife Elaine.
Grandpa Ernie
Elaine's Husband
Ernest A. Bowman
Hope For Tomorrow
Haven't learned to walk alone
And still stumbling in the dark,
Will there be no happiness
While we are still apart.
Saying no to God
When I should be saying yes,
After having the best of life
Am in an empty nest.
Know He wants to bless me
Have been cast upon the shore,
Finally stopped drifting
Bless me Lord some more.
Am lonesome Lord
Oh the things I say,
Have to ask forgiveness
Yes again today.
Help me listen to You
When You talkk to me,
I am standing on a beach now
Open my eyes and let me see.
There are others hurting
Many years I hear them say,
Time has made no difference
It is still like yesterday.
Floating on an ocean
Sea of deep despair,
Not hard to find them
They are every where.
Some the years are many
Others have just begun,
I am looking for someone coming
That has dimmed a noon day sun.
He'll bring her with Him
Am very sure of that,
I know she is happy
Happy where she is at.
Grandpa Ernie
Why was he crying?
One spring morning
I was walking through the park,
The sun was starting it's daily run
Chasing away the dark.
There was an old Gentleman
Sitting on a bench alone,
As early as it was
He should have been at home.
I stopped to question him
Why do tears roll down your cheeks,
Thought our Lord may come today
And bring the one I seek.
I don't have a home anymore
Is just a place to keep,
Among the memories
Is where I try to sleep.
It's so easy now to cry
About anything my lad,
Music I once loved
Now only makes me sad.
He purchased her on Calvary
Two thousand years ago,
Oh, I miss her
She belonged to Him you know.
We are many a picnic lunch
Over there,
Under that tree
She was so fair.
He bought me too
Thought you may like to know,
I miss her so
Perhaps today He'll let me go.
Down at the ferryboat landing
Or standing on the bluff,
Just to be with her
Yes it was enough.
We spent days on the Mississippi
Or walking along the bank,
For the wonderful years
I still give Him my thanks.
Sitting in church service
My family there beside me,
Why was the old man weeping
Now, I see.
Comes to all of us
Yes to everyone,
Even when it was stormy
There seemed to be a sun.
Now is only memories
Life was bitter sweet,
Jesus will bring content
Happiness that I seek.
That was many years ago
Now tears run down my face,
I am where he was
I have the old man's place.
Am going over to the park
A hundred miles away,
Where the old Gentleman lived
So long ago that day.
Grandpa Ernie
October 10, 1994